Forbidden to forbid

How many times in a WOmum’s life do we forbid, forget that we have forbidden, allow and forbid again? 🙂

But did you know that “It is forbidden to forbid” is one of the best 10 paradoxes of all times? My favorite definition of a paradox is “something that can drive mad anyone who wasn’t already” 😉

Why? The statement generally includes a contradiction that makes your neurons go round and round: if it is forbidden to forbid, than how can the law forbid when it claims the contrary in the 1st place?

The western way of thinking is very much category management typed: everything is white or black. Moreover, everything must be ranked and put into the right pigeonhole… or, since I am a WOmum I’m so often confronted with situations that simply don’t fit with what I was instilled:

  • Should I get an in house babysitter? (… better comfort for my children but much more expensive => meaning I will have to work more so I will have even less time to spend with them than I already have)
  • Should I book all year long a half day exclusively for my daughter and leave my son with the babysitter? (Risking to regret “my generosity” when my daughter misbehaves or to feel guilty if my son doesn’t eat his spinach at lunch
  • Should I leave for my professional trip very early (and miss breakfast) or rather come back late (and miss bedtime)?
  • Should I take one afternoon for a massage and a spa (and find an inhouse Hiroshima when I get back)? …

What I have learnt from my Aikdio practice is that accepting that there isn’t always a perfect “win-win” solution is the beginning of Zen. In general, the “have it all” thinking only makes us stress out and achieve a poor result (the kind of inconsolable kid for WOmum being late to the annual school show  because of last minute meeting).

In a more poetic way: when the “Yin” is at its peak the “Yang” is also rising. body Meaning that in situations where you can’t have it all, it is better to decide from the beginning what you are ready to give up or fail.

Consequence? Once you’re in peace with what you can lose, you can better focus on everything else and thus maximize what you really want to succed.

What about you, WOmums out there in the cyberspace, how do you do to reconcile the reconcilable without losing yourself?mind training counsciousness zen

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